Forget the Billy Goat, the Joe Smith Curse is in Full Effect

 

There are a great many curses in all the major sports. The Cubs have the curse of the Billy Goat. The Red Sox had the Curse of the Great Bambino. Birmingham City Football suffered the 100 year curse. Hell, even individual players and competitors have suffered from curses ala the Madden and Taladega Curses.

Move over Billy Goat, Joe Smith is the newest curse on the block!!

Move over Billy Goat, Joe Smith is the newest curse on the block!!

Well, Minnesota Timberwolves’ fans might be in the middle of a brand new curse: the Joe Smith Curse.

For the unfamiliar — or for those who chose to forget — prior to the start of the 2000 season, Wolves GM Kevin McHale signs free agent big man Joe Smith to a contract that involves payments both above and below the table. This was an unbelievably stupid move. Like asking Todd Kincannon to speak at an NAACP rally stupid. How McHale was allowed to remain GM is, to this day, one of sports’ great mysteries. I would love to see the dirt he must have on Wolves owner Glen Taylor. It is either photos of ole Glen doing his best Marv Albert or he has the name and address of Taylor’s Marino-like love child.

Taylor’s TMZ moment aside, the botched Joe Smith signing had an immediate impact (the league takes the Wolves’ 1st round draft pick for the next 5 years) and, even worse, it has been the beginning of a run of bad luck that would make even the most ardent Cubs fan blush.

Since the Joe Smith signing, Wolves fans have suffered the following mini-tragedies:

  1. McHale is allowed to return as GM. This cannot be said enough. He quite literally paid a player under the table, a direct violation of league policy — heck — a direct violation of the how dumb can you be policy, and he returned to his role with the team only a year later. We are not off to a good start.
  2. The Wolves capitalize on having no first round picks for the next two years and draft the great Loren Woods and Marcus Taylor. I would add more, but those picks are pretty self-explanatory. 
  3. Everything changes in 2003, Hall of Fame player and Hall of Infame GM Kevin McHale drafts Ndudi “DooDoo” Ebi. He is the Wolves first 1st round pick since the Smith debacle. He is currently averaging a double-double for S.S. Felice Scandone in something called Serie A.
  4. In 2004, the Wolves finally put together enough talent to support the Big Ticket and, all of sudden, the NBA championship is a very real possibility. After surviving the Kings in a seven game slugfest, the Lakers/NBA/referees dash any hopes the Wolves have of claiming their first NBA championship. In particular, the phantom foul call on Wally Szcerbiak playing “Wally” defense against Kobe.
  5. The following year, despite retaining the same supporting cast, the Wolves fall apart and miss the playoffs for the first time in the KG era. They have not been back since. That team was then dismantled, in part because of Sprew’s desire to feed his family and in part because the chemistry was so off from the year before.
  6. Roy was outstanding for the Blazers (after the Wolves traded him) -- he has played only minutes this season.

    Roy was outstanding for the Blazers (after the Wolves traded him) — he has played only minutes this season.

    To help replenish the talent level around KG, the Wolves draft Brandon Roy. They then inexplicably trade Roy for the great Randy Foy. Roy goes on to a terrific career with the Portland Trail Blazers, playing the role of closer in the 4th Quarter, the exact role the Wolves needed to fill. Foy does his best Troy Hudson-impression, jacking up inopportune 3s with frightening regularity.

  7. Aside from the Roy trade, management also locks up the services of Corey Brewer and Rashad McCants via the draft. Let me just say that again, Corey Brewer and Rashad McCants.
  8. The lack of playoff performances finally force management’s hand. The Kid gets traded to Boston for $.66 on the $1.00. He promptly wins an NBA Championship. The Wolves struggle to break 20 wins because Big Al fails to defend with the same effectiveness that he scores in the low post. Boston’s defense becomes one of the best in the league — anchored by KG.
  9. The Wolves draft one of the best power forwards in the league, Kevin Love, and all of sudden, things are finally looking up. Love averages 20+ points and 12+ rebounds for the first few years in the league.
  10. There is a huge opportunity to turn the corner but David Kahn does his best Kevin McHale, drafting Jonny Flynn (mind you Steph Curry is staring him in the grill and it is not like the Wolves have always needed a shooter), Ricky Rubio (who promptly signs a deal with FC Barcelona), and then approximately 16 other PGs (including Ty Lawson – who is traded to Denver). More misses in this draft than a Craig Ferguson monologue. Just brutal.
  11. Rubio looked like the Spanish Savior --- then the curse took effect. Now he is still trying to find his form following serious knee surgery.

    Rubio looked like the Spanish Savior — then the curse took effect. Now he is still trying to find his form following serious knee surgery.

    La Pistola finally decides he has had enough of Euro hoops and he makes his way across the pond. The Wolves squad is electrified. An annual bottom-feeder is immediately transformed into a contender.

  12. The Black Mamba destroys the Wolves franchise worse than he did the…in…Denv…well, you get the point. Rubio tears an ACL defending Kobe. Wolves fans start to wonder if they should start bathing with the toaster.

All of that brings us to this season.

The Wolves projected starters have played a total of zero games together this season. Butkus. Squat. Nada. So, rather than list all of the injuries — including Love’s freak knuckle push-up calamity — and depress you any further. I will just let that little stat sink in. As soon as you have come to grips with that, it is easy to understand that there is something bigger than all of us going on here. This curse is very real. Here is hoping we exorcise it sooner than later.     

Remember, if you need tickets to watch the Joe Smith Curse in action, skate on over to Ticket King. They have got all your ticket needs covered for local sporting events — especially the Timberwolves.

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